REEF MAGIC

Aloha!

Maui VIP Concierge and Paradise Events & Design are throwing a cocktail party at the Lahaina Oceanfront Estate – Saturday, April 19th, doors open from 5PM, party starting promptly at 6 to 9PM and we'd like you to join us!


This spectacular event benefits The Maui Reef Fund ($30 donation at the door) and showcases the romantic Lahaina Oceanfront Estate, now available for you upcoming event, party or private wedding.


Sip on a rainbow of cocktails while the sun sets between Lana'i and Moloka'i...sample delectable goodies from local chefs and caterers...take this opportunity to inspire ideas for you upcoming party, enjoy a night of entertainment by musicians, dancers and magicians, ice sculptures and chocolate fountains...it will be a night to remember!

Featuring the following talented businesses and much more! -

Maui Cocktail Catering
Private Chef Jana McMahon
Private Chef Nio Kindla with Maui Meals
Who Cut the Cheese
Just Desserts
Maui Chocolate Fountain
Hawaiian Village Coffee
Hula Honeys
Covered Affairs
Canoes Restaurant
Roy's Kihei
Mr. Wine
Elly's Formal Wear
LynnJean Designs
Hale Zen

Magician Al Loha

Shizen Wines Koshu
Photo Images Maui
Tad Craig Photography
IF CAN Entertainment


Lahaina Oceanfront Estate
1423 Front Street, Lahaina

Parking: Canoe's Restaurant
Island attire

Questions? Call Aimee at 214-5192.

Bring your friends!

Magician For My Company Christmas Party - Michigan - Hawaii and Everywhere

It's not too late to hire professional entertainment for your holiday party, luncheon, Christmas party or company thank you bash.

Do you enjoy great entertainment, love to laugh, appreciate clean comedy and are thrilled with amazing magic? Do you prefer to work with a national act who is easy to deal with, punctual and courteous? Would it be stress free and convenient to make a phone call, talk directly to the person who is going to work hard to make you look good and energize your party? If your answer is YES to these questions, pick up the phone RIGHT NOW and call, Amusionist Al The Only, at 1-800-tricky1 (1-800-874-2591).

With magician, comic Al The Only you get two fantastic forms of entertainment for the price of one; magic and comedy mixed together.


Al The Only
www.tricky1.com


Please tell your friends to log in to my writings at Al The Only blogs
http://altheonly.blogspot.com
and please leave a comment, I'd love to hear from you.

A letter from Fred Lenter, an ol' buddy and fellow magician, back in the Detroit, Michigan area.

April 16, 2007

Hi Al,

This is Fred Lenter. (I'm sure you're wondering ... what the heck could he be emailing me about!) Well, I just had to tell you something amusing. The reason I'm telling you now is because the following has happened TWICE in the past 2 weeks.

I was working a 50 year old birthday party last weekend. Strolling. I see a couple sitting off by themselves, so I figure I'll go amuse them. I'm making some small talk with them, and they ask me if I know you, Al The Only. And they start raving about you. (Don't worry, I set them straight. LOL just kidding.) They were talking about the card on the ceiling ... They had used you for parties quite a bit in the past. (The mans name was Marshall, with an exotic looking wife.)

The point being, that this has happened in the past a few times, and TWICE in the past week, that people have mentioned Al The Only. And I have to try and follow that!!!!! Hopefully I did a good job.

But jeez, you really put the pressure on sometimes.

I wonder why the heck you moved out of town, with the reputation you have here. (Well, I don't really wonder why since Detroit SUCKS. More now than ever with the auto industry problems.)

Anyway, that's my story. I thought you would enjoy it.

Fred Lenter

Magician Al The Only appearing for Toys for Tots on Thursday, December 14, 2006 in Grosse Pointe Shores, Michigan at Robusto's Martini / Cigar Bar

Magician Al The Only appearing for Toys for Tots
on Thursday, December 14, 2006
at 8:30 pm
in Grosse Pointe Shores, Michigan
at Robusto's Martini / Cigar & Wine Bar

Seasons Greetings,

I'm sure you are in the throws of the busy, hectic, mad dash of the holidays. Once again I'm pleased to be a part of the Toys for Tots Toy Drive at Robusto's. Check out my blog about Robusto's robustos-martini-lounge-and-wine-bar.

Bring an unwrapped toy for admission. Enjoy the music of Mark Reitenga at 9 pm, Detroit's best martinis, Jackie's mouth watering appetizers and I'll be there from 8:30 pm until 10:30 pm doing my walk around, up close, strolling magic. It's going to be a great evening for a wonderful cause.

Robusto's is located at 19271 Mack Avenue just off of Moross in Grosse Pointe Woods. You can call them for more information at 313-881-0100.

The U.S. Marine Corps needs your help to make sure no child goes without a Christmas. If you're on your way home from a meeting, dinner, or from the mall, stop by with a toy and have some fun.

If you’re not close to Detroit or can't attend the festivities, you can find a Toys for Tots drop off location in your area by logging onto the official Toys for Tots web link to make a donation.

No child should go without a gift at Christmas.

Hope to see you on Thursday, December 14th. Thank you for your generous help.

Mahalo for your caring!

Sincerely,

Al The Only
www.tricky1.com

PS I'm not just selling entertainment, I provide wonderful memories of your party for your guests!

1-800-tricky1 (1-800-874-2591) toll free in the US and Canada

My 26th year, full time, of providing magic for corporate meetings, trade shows, banquets and conventions - worldwide. Over a quarter century of adding laughter and amazement to people's lives and making memories.

Who said, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do?"

This adage, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" recommending you fit in with the locals when away from home territory is attributed to St. Ambrose (340-397 C.E.).

Apparently, he gave this advice to St. Augustine about 387.

When having a company banquet, holiday party, company party, Christmas party, luncheon, kick off, cocktail party, award banquet, recognition party, customer appreciation party, convention, get together, association event, fund raiser or any event where you want to add some levity and fun for your guests DO AS THE HUNDREDS OF SATISFIED CLIENTS HAVE DONE ... hire Amusionist Al The Only.

I do magic, comedy and provide wonderful memories of your party for your guests! I’m a magician, comic, MC, comedian and all round funny guy. I’m better known as an Amusionist!

Call me for a free, no obligation quote. My phone number is easy to remember, it’s 1-800-tricky1 (1-800-874-2591). You can also check me out on the web. My website is www.tricky1.com. You just can’t forget the tricky 1. I’m a phone call away and I’d also appreciate your business.

Aloha,

Al The Only
www.tricky1.com

Please tell your friends to log in to my writings at
Al The Only blogs

http://altheonly.blogspot.com

and please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.


PS I'm not just selling entertainment, I provide wonderful memories of your party for your guests!


PPS Am I anywhere near you? You betcha! If you’re anywhere in the US, I’m close by away and would love to entertain your guests. I’d also appreciate your business.

Alabama, Alaska, Albany, Alpena, Anaheim, Anchorage, Ann Arbor, Annapolis, Apple Valley, Arizona, Arkansas, Arlington Hills, Aspen, Atlanta, Atlantic City, Augusta, Aurora, Austin, Avon, Baltimore, Bangor, Barkersfield, Barstow, Batavia, Baton Rouge, BC, Beaverton, Berlin, Beverly Hills, Big Island, Big Sky, Biloxi, Birmingham, Bismarck, Bixby, Bloomfield Hills, Bloomingdale, Boca Raton, Boca, Boise, Boston, Boulder City, Bowling Green, Boyne Highlands, Boyne Mountain, Bradenton, Breckenridge, Bristol, Brunswick, Buffalo, Burbank, Cadillac, California, Calistoga, Calumet City, Cambridge, Camden, Canton, Carson City, Chandler, Charleston, Charlevoix, Charlotte, Chevy Chase, Cheyenne, Chicago, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Clinton, Cocoa Beach, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Columbia, Columbia Falls, Columbus, Concord, Connecticut, Dallas, Danbury, Danville, Dartmouth, Davenport, Daytona Beach, DC, Dearborn, Del Mar, Delaware, Denver, Des Moines, Detroit, Diamond Head, Disney World, Disneyland, Dodge City, Dover, Duluth, East Moline, Elizabethtown, Enterprise, Escanaba, Fairbanks, Fairhaven, Falmouth, Fargo, Farmington Hills, Fayetteville, Findlay, Flagstaff, Flint, Florida, Fort Myers, Frankenmuth, Frankfort, Franklin, Freeport, Fresno, Ft Myers, Fullerton, Gainesville, Gaylord, Georgetown, Georgia, Glendale, Grand Traverse Resort, Grand Traverse, Grand Rapids, Grand Hotel, Great Falls, Green Bay, Greensboro, Grosse Pointe, Gulfport, Hammond, Hamtramck, Hanover, Harbor Springs, Harrisburg, Hartford, Hawaii, Helena, Hesperia, Hillsboro, Hilo, Hilton Head, Hollywood, Honolulu, Hoover, Hot Springs, Hot Springs Village, Houston, Hudson, Huntsville, Idaho, Illinois, Independence, Indiana, Indianapolis, Iowa City, Iowa, Ironwood, Irvine, Itasca, Jackson, Jacksonville, Jefferson City, Jefferson, Jefferson City, Johnson City, Jonesboro, Joplin, Juneau, Jupiter, Kaanapali, Kaanapali Beach, Kansas, Kansas City, Kapalua, Kauai, Kentucky, Ketchikan, King of Prussia, Kingfisher, Kingsman, Kingsport, Knoxville, Kona, La Jolla, La Grange, LA, Lahaina, Lake Placid, Lake Tahoe, Lake City, Lanai, Lancaster, Lansing, Las Vegas, Laughlin, Lexington, Lihue, Lincoln, Little Rock, Long Beach, Los Angeles, Louisiana, Louisville, Ludington, Mackinac Island, Mackinaw, Madesto, Madison, Maine, Malibu, Marco Island, Marquette, Maryland, Massachusetts, Maui, Memphis, Mesa, Miami, Miami Beach, Michigan, Miles City, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Montgomery, Montpelier, Mount Pleasant, Mount Vernon, Mt Pleasant, Muskegon, Nantucket, Napa, Napa Valley, Naples, Nashville, Nebraska, Nevada, New Castle, New Orleans, New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Newport Beach, Nome, North Carolina, North Dakota, Northampton, Northville, Norwich, Novi, Oahu, Oak Brook, Oakbrook, Oaklahoma City, Oakland, Ohio, Oklahoma, Olympia, Omaha, Ontario, Orange, Oregon, Orlando, Osceola, Otsego, Owensboro, Ozark, Palm Springs, Palm Beach, Palm Desert, Pasadena, Pennsylvania, Pensacola, Peoria, Petoskey, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pierre, Pittsburgh, Plymouth, Port Charlotte, Portland, Portsmouth, Providence, Raleigh, Reno, Rhode Island, Richmond, Rochester, Rock Island, Rockford, Rosemont, Sacramento, Saint Paul, Saint Cloud, Saint Ignace, Saint Charles, Salem, Salt Lake City, San Francisco, San Bernardino, San Jose, San Diego, Sanford, Sanibel, Santa Fe, Schuss Mountain, Scottsdale, Seven Springs, Shanty Creek, Sioux City, South Carolina, South Dakota, Springfield, St Paul, Stanford, Steamboat Springs, Sterling Heights, Sun Valley, Tahoe, Tahoe City, Tallahassee, Tampa, Tennessee, Texarkana, Texas, Toledo, Topeka, Traverse City, Trenton, Troy, Tucson, Tulsa, Twin Falls, Union, Utah, Vail, Valparaiso, Venice, Venmont, Verginia, Waikiki, Wailea, Warren,Warsaw, Washington DC, Washington, Watertown, West Virginia, West Palm Beach, West Springfield, White Plains, Wichita, Wilmington, Winchester, Windsor, Wisconsin, Wyoming, Yarmouth, Yarmouth Port, York,

A Paradoxical Encounter with the Inimitable Illusionist - Master Magician Will Rock

circa 1988
pictured left to right:

Will and Ruth Rock

Milt and Reva Kort

Clare (Milky the Clown) and Peg Cummings

Al The Only and Lori Ulman


The year was 1980; I was 22 years old and had been in love with magic since I was 12. That was the year I met the illustrious Will Rock (William George Rakauskas, April 25, 1907 - May 4, 1995), but first allow me to digress.

In 1972 I received a magicians’ pictorial book, as a gift, from an amateur magician, Joe Tomasik (July 3, 1903 - November 16, 1985) who lived in Wyandotte, Michigan. Mr. Joe was a friendly gentleman who worked in the steel mills downriver from Detroit. Even though Mr. Joe never did magic full time he loved to perform magic for family, friends and at church functions. My oldest brother, Stan, who, at the time was a priest at Mt. Carmel Catholic Church where Mr. Joe was a parishioner, told Mr. Joe that one of his younger brothers was an aspiring magician. Mr. Joe extended an invitation to me come over and visit. He had a basement full of magic tricks, props, books and memorabilia. It was a magician’s playroom and Mr. Joe delighted in showing me trick after trick. I had the pleasure of subsequent visits and each time was sent home with a trick to learn. Our friendship grew and on one visit while perusing through Mr. Joe’s library I came across a book published by the Abbott’s Magic Manufacturing Company out of Colon, Michigan. The book “Tops Pictorial Album of Magicians” was published in 1966. Basically it was a compilation of photos of magicians who graced the cover and pages of “The Tops” and “The New Tops” magazines. There are pictures of the well known greats like Houdini, Blackstone, Sr. and Jr., Dante, Keller, Carter and Thurston, just to name a few; ninety-two pages of the world famous and local greats. By the time I received the book some of these prestidigitators had passed but many of them were still alive. I took it upon myself to get as many autographs as possible. I carried the book around to magic meetings, conventions and of course to the Abbott’s Magic Get-Together every August, in Colon, Michigan where many of these folks still attended each year.

As the years passed, more and more of these wonderful people were leaving this worldly stage. On a chance meeting in 1980, with a magician friend, Warren Stephens (December 13, 1931 - April 6, 2006), from Roseville, Michigan, I found out some wonderful news. Warren, a magic inventor, manufacturer, lecturer and historian, was paging through my book, admiring some of the autographs I’d collected. He told me stories of many of the magicians pictured in the book. He also told me of who was still around and who was gone. I put a cross next to the names of those who had departed, hoping it would be awhile before I met them. As we leafed through the pages we came upon Will Rock’s picture. Warren told me that Will was still alive. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know much about Will Rock but I knew he had purchased the Thurston show and that he traveled with a full evening show. He was of iconic class in the magic community, a legend, one of magic’s unsung heroes. I HAD TO MEET THIS MAN! Warren told me that Will Rock lived in St. Clair Shores, Michigan, was retired from magic, hated magicians and wanted to be left alone. I didn’t care. All I wanted was an autograph, one minute of the man’s time and I wouldn’t bother him after that. I wouldn’t pester him. I simply wanted an autograph. Warren told me to leave him alone. He told me that if I called Will and Will found out that I was a magician, he would hang up on me. If I showed up at his door he would slam the door in my face. This was the furthest thing from the truth but I didn’t know it at the time. I was young, persistent and had to meet Will Rock, albeit for an autograph.

It just so happened that my then girlfriend and now my wife, Lori, lived in St. Clair Shores. Not that St. Clair Shores is a small city but I assumed that it would be easy to find Will. I called the local Catholic church to see if Will was registered there. No luck. Then by a stroke of genius I decided to look in the phone book and there he was.

What to do? I was told to leave him alone. I was told that once he found out I was a magician he wouldn’t have anything to do with me, but I couldn’t resist. All I wanted was Will Rock’s autograph. I thought of sending Lori in my place, there’s no way he could have said no to that beautiful brunette. Instead, I mustered up all the courage I could find to call him. I tried to fit in two minutes of an introduction into five seconds. I was afraid that as soon as Will knew I was a magician, he would certainly hang the phone up on me.

I placed the call. “Hello? Is this Will Rock?” I asked as the person answered the phone.

“Yes,” he replied.

“My name is Al, please don’t hang up on me. I’m a local professional magician. I’d love to meet you. I have a book with your picture that I would love to have you autograph. That’s all I want. My girlfriend lives here in St. Clair Shores, I’m not too far away. I promise not to bother you after that. Please, can I meet you?” I’m sure I said more and didn’t take a breath in between the sentences.

Will interrupted me and I was afraid that was it. He was going to hang up on me. He knew I was a magician. This was the end. Instead, he said, “I’m very busy right now and need to get going, but if you call me tomorrow, I’d be happy to talk to you.”

“I can call you tomorrow?” I asked surprisingly.

“Yes, please do,” the wonderful voice said on the other end of the phone.

“Really, I can call you back tomorrow?” I asked or begged, I’m not sure which.

“Of course, I’d love to talk to you,” said Will.

What just happened? Will I be able to live until tomorrow, I thought. Seriously, I could call Will Rock back the following day. What will he tell me tomorrow, I asked myself. All I wanted was an autograph.

The following day came. I don’t know why I was nervous. I was invited to call this person back. I wanted to meet him but I was uncertain if he would give me the opportunity. The next day came and I made the call. I was so nervous. Once again I was talking a mile a minute. I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to plead my case before being hung up on. As I was rattling off my litany I was sure to be cut off and hung up on. In the middle of a sentence Will told me to slow down. I took a deep breathe. I explained to Will that I had a book that I would love to have him autograph. He sounded trilled and invited me to come over. Really? I thought. “Can I bring my girlfriend with me?” I asked. This entire scenario was going in a different direction than I had expected.

Will gave me his schedule and told me what day would be the best for him. He literally lived within a half mile from Lori’s home. We made a date and Lori and I went to meet Will Rock.

Will and Ruth Rock lived in a nice condominium on Jefferson Avenue in St. Clair Shores. They had a swimming pool outside their front door. Will Rock, a short, white haired, white handle bar mustachioed gentleman answered his door.

“Hi, I’m Al The Only and this is my girlfriend, Lori,” I said.

When Lori and I arrived we were made very welcome by our gracious hosts.

We were quickly invited in and introduced to Ruth.

Ruth was a petite, pretty lady. The couple would have looked perfect on a wedding cake. They were delightful.

“This is the book I told you about, can I please have your autograph?” I asked.

We were invited to sit down. “Would you like anything to drink?” we were asked. Graciously we accepted and all sat down.

I have to admit, I was expecting an ogre, a bitter old man, who without knowing me would hate me just because I was a magician. It was the furthest thing from the truth. Will and Ruth were superb hosts. We talked about magic, magicians and how Lori and I fit into the mix. Will graciously autographed my book and gave me a few souvenirs of his show biz days. Will had put together a little surprise package for me complete with 8x10s, throw out cards, news articles and assorted memorabilia. This was far and beyond anything I had expected. The thing that startled me the most was when we were leaving--- he invited us back!

I still wasn’t sure where I stood in all this. I promised Warren Stephens I wouldn’t bother Will Rock but then Will invited me back, what to do? I didn’t want to bother Will and Ruth but they seemed genuinely sincere about inviting us back.

I had the pleasure of visiting with Will and Ruth on a few more occasions. Each time we grew a little closer. Each time, new and exciting stories where told to me. Stories of how magicians made it through the depression. Stories of how Will used his brother in certain illusions and finally the story of how it was time to pack up the show, settle down with his family and put that chapter of his life behind him.

I found Will and Ruth to be a fun, wholesome, wonderful couple. They lived two separate lives, the life of show biz and the life on regular city folk. I respected their privacy and relished in their company. There was always a cocktail to be had and a story to be told. They were comfortable with both.

On August 31, 1988, Lori and I hosted a luncheon for a few of Detroit’s Magic Elite. As a full time pro, I was very fortunate to know and hold as friends some of the greats in our industry. Two of my dear friends included Milt Kort (October 13, 1917 – August 1, 2003) and Clare Cummings (February 4, 1912 - October 31, 1994).

Milt Kort was a pharmacist by trade but was probably one of the best coin men in our industry. Milt co-authored Bobo’s “Modern Coin Magic.” Clare Cummings worked for Dupont but every Saturday morning on local televison he was the original Milky the Twin Pines Dairy Magic Clown. There was a waiting list of kids who wanted to be on his TV show. To this day if you ask a 50 year old who grew up in Detroit what the magic words are, he’ll exclaim, “Twin Pines!” (Side note: Clare Cummings’ caricature of Milky the Clown is still on the milk cartons of Twin Pines Dairy. Karrell Fox was the second Milky.)

Milt and Clare knew I was in contact with Will Rock. Neither had ever met him. Lori and I decided to have a little luncheon and invite all three couples to attend. The Rocks graciously accepted and were enthusiastic to meet Milt and Clare but you would have thought Milt and Clare were star stricken kids (as I was, too) when they found out they were going to meet Will Rock. I understood they’re excitement because I couldn’t contain mine. I was having lunch with these three notable gentlemen and their spouses in my home! It was a delightful afternoon. I just wish I had a video camera to film them as the stories abounded that afternoon.

Will Rock was a warm, gentle man. He loved magic. He loved talking about magic, the good and the bad. He loved reminiscing about life on the road and he wasn’t shy about explaining why his wife, daughter and personal life determined that it was time to stop traveling. I didn’t realize what a special friendship I had with Will until his death in 1995. Lori and I were two of only three magicians invited to attend Will’s memorial service. Of all the people Will had entertained and all the magicians he had touched, I was flattered to be invited. What overwhelmed me was that the family asked me to perform some magic as a tribute to Will, as his eulogy. You cannot imagine my esteemed honor. What surprised me is that many of Will’s recent friends didn’t know anything about Will’s life as a magician. They didn’t even address him as Will, to them he was Bill. Will Rock who toured with a full evening magic show; Will Rock who followed in the footsteps of Howard Thurston; Will Rock who left the stage to be a father and family man; Will Rock who was revered by magicians from around the world; Will Rock who silently disappeared from magic; and I was asked to perform at his memorial, an honor I humbly accepted.

I will always cherish my friendship with Will and Ruth Rock and now their daughter Gretchen. I will not forget the warm and endearing man who toured with a full evening magic show but still took the time to autograph a book for a young aspiring magician. This handsome, white haired, handlebar mustachioed, short-in-stature person (who) by being humble and sincere was larger than life.

I miss you Bill and Ruth, may you rest in peace.

Aloha,

Al The Only
www.tricky1.com

Please tell your friends to log in to my writings at Al The Only blogs
http://altheonly.blogspot.com
and please leave a comment, I’d love to hear from you.

Cute Short Halloween Jokes for Children

Children love to laugh.

When I first started doing magic shows in 1970 (I was all but a child myself) I performed at a lot of children’s birthday parties. After a few years I graduated to Mother and Daughter luncheons, Father and Son banquets and Cub Scout Blue and Gold Banquets. As a magician I knew my job was to amaze my audience but I quickly learned that people love to laugh. It’s actually very therapeutic. I don’t do very many children’s show any more. All my time is focused on entertaining adults at conventions and company events but when I do get the chance, the uncle in me comes out and, boy do we have fun!

Children enjoy a good joke just like the rest of us. To them silly is funny. To them gross is funny. Children can find the element of funny in just about everything. So I share with you the following groaners and guffaws. A little bit of clean humor goes a long way.

If you have kids, grandchildren, nephews or nieces you going to have some good clean fun telling them these jokes. These jokes are silly, cute and by adult standards, down right dumb but try a few on a child and watch them run off to tell their friends. And another thing, you just might find yourself reminiscing about when you heard these jokes as a kid.

Enjoy and Happy Halloween!

Al The Only
www.tricky1.com


Cute Short Halloween Jokes for Children

What kind of street does a ghost like best?
A dead end.

What do you get when you cross a were-wolf with a drip-dry suit?
A wash-and-werewolf.

What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost?
Fasten your sheet belt.

What is a witch with poison ivy called?
An itchy witchy.

Who does a ghoul fall in love with?
His ghoul friend.

Where do vampires live?In the Vampire State Building.

Who are some of the werewolves cousins?
The whatwolves and the whenwolves.

What did Dr. Frankenstein get when he put his goldfish's brain in the body of his dog?
I don't know, but it is great at chasing submarines.

What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A blood hound.

Why are black cats such good singers?
They're very mewsical.

What's a cold, evil candle called?
The wicked wick of the north.

What kind of hot dogs do werewolves like best?
Hallowieners.

Where do little ghosts learn to yell "BOO!"?
In noisery school.

What does a goblin shop for?
Grosseries.

How can you tell when windows are scared?
They get shudders.

What do you call serious rocks?
Grave stones.

Why did the witch stand up in front of the audience?
She had to give a screech.

What's a goblin's favorite flavor?
Lemon n' Slime.

Why wasn't the vampire working?
He was on his coffin break.

How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
By scareplane.

How do you picture yourself flying on a broom?
By witchful thinking.

What's a ghoul's favorite breakfast cereal?
Rice Creepies.

Why did the witch's mail rattle?
It was a chain letter.

Why did the vampire's lunch give her heartburn?
It was a stake sandwich.

What instrument does a skeleton play?
A trombone.

Why was the zombie so grumpy?
She woke up too early in the mourning.

What directions did the ghost give the goblin?
"Make a fright turn at the corner."

What do birds give out on Halloween?
Tweets.

What's a vampire's favorite feast?
Fangsgiving Day dinner.

What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.

What do goblins mail home while on vacation?
Ghostcards.

Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
She had bat breath.

How do ghosts begin letters?
Tomb it may concern...

Who is the most famous ghost detective?
Sherlock Bones!

What do you call a skeleton who tells jokes?
A funny bone!

What do ghosts watch if they want to relax?
Skelly-vision!

What do Skeletons use when they want a chat?
A tele-bone!

Why did the wizard mix things in his cauldron?
His microwave was being repaired!

What do you get if you leave a pile of bones in the sun?
A Skele-tan.

What do you call a lady spook who works on an airplane?
An air-ghostess!

What do spooks eat in the interval?
Ice-scream!

What's the difference between a ghost and a butcher?
One stays awake and the other weighs a steak!

What's the difference between a silly ghost and a plate of cheese on toast?
One is easy to cheat the other is cheesy to eat!

What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?
A cereal killer.

What's a mummy's favorite music?
Wrap Music!

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
At the ghost office.

What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?The roller ghosted.

What's a ghosts favorite fruit?
Booberries.

What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A handfull of sheet!

Why did the ghost cross the road?
To get to "THE OTHER SIDE."

How do you mend a broken Jack-o-lantern?
With a pumpkin patch!

What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
Spelling!

How do you make a witch stew?
Keep her waiting for hours.

What tops off a ghost's sundae?
Whipped Scream.

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
It had no BODY to dance with.

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he's always a goblin.

What happens when a ghost gets lost in a fog?
He's mist.

What sailors like to be chilled to the bone?
A skeleton crew.

What does a sorceress wear?
A bewitching outfit.

Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
In the casketeria.

Where did the goblin throw the football?
Over the ghoul line.

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
Toasty ghosty.

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin.

Which story do all little witches love to hear at bedtime?
"Ghoul Deluxe and the Three Scares."

What would you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer.

What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist.

Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.

Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.

What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet.

What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo.

Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones.

Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away.

What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay.

Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea.

What is Transylvania?
Dracula's terror-tory.

Where does Dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie.

What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A blood vessel.

What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference?
Pumpkin Pi.

What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.

What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
An amoeboo!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist?
He was repossessed.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do rednecks do on Halloween?
Pump-kin!

Why don't witches wear panties?
To get a better grip on the broom!

Why is it so easy to turn on Frankenstein's monster?Because he has amps in his pants.

Why don't witches have babies?
Because their husbands have crystal balls and hollow-weenies.

What do Skeletons say before eating?
Bone Appetite.

Why did the Vampire get fired from the Blood Bank?
He was caught drinking on the job.

Why do ghosts have so much trouble dating?
Women can see right through them.

Why are Vampires Democrats?
They want Gore in 2000.

What kind of clothes do Zombies wear?
Decay NY.

Why aren't there any famous skeletons?
They're a bunch of no bodies.

What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
Scared stiff.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
He didn't have a haunting license.

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?
Mas-scare-a.

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon bone-apart.

Where do most goblins live?
In North and South Scarolina.

Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche?
At a ghastly station.

What do you call a little monsters parents?
Mummy and deady.

Why do vampires scare people?
They are bored to death!

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat.

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

What song does Dracula hate?
"You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
A grave problem.

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

What can't you give the headless horseman?
A headache.

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?
Mali-boo.

What do you call two witches living together?
Broommates.

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.